I can open a library filled with books about grief. Reading is not my favorite thing to do, but I chose to read a few of the books that were given to me. One of the books that I read was Life Can be Good Again by Lisa Appelo. In the book she talked about her idol of self-sufficiency. Immediately, I knew that she should have just written my name. We can make it sound nice by calling it independency, Type A personality, etc. but when the layers are pulled back then the idol of self-sufficiency is the problem.
I don’t like to ask for help. I would rather just do it by myself. Sometimes I am not the most patient person and I like things to be done a certain way. I know this is a shocker to those who know me well.
However, in January 2024, I knew that I needed help. Although I felt like my world had stopped, everyone else continued moving forward in the world.
Emotional exhaustion is a real thing. My main focus was and continues to be on my girls. I was facing the reality of carrying the work load of two people. I needed help!
In Soy’s Bible I found another piece of paper that had the outline of his Bible study on it. At the bottom of the paper were the written words “Do not become so busy in life that you do not allow other people to help you.”
My sister, Daphne, and I laughed because it was as if he was speaking directly to me.
Tom and Shari Compagner, Bill and Jean Decker, Joey and Bibbi Bosarge, and Scott Fontenot have given of their time and expenses to come to Guatemala just to help me with the teams. They basically came to do whatever was necessary to help me. If they saw me then great. If they didn’t see then it was ok. They built dog pens, goat pens, made fire pits, organize activities, help teams, etc.
My Board of Directors (Teddie, Eddie, Joe David, Morris, & TJ) have supported and prayed for me in every way possible. They have made sure that I am taken care. They have allowed me to take the time to grieve without putting any extra pressure on me.
It goes without saying that my family has helped me in countless ways. Soy and I had the agreement that I could not touch his closet, office, or garage. How does one person have so much stuff? How does one person not know my definition of being organized? How does one person know where everything is when it is not organized? My mom and sister were given the job of helping me clean and organize everything. We laughed, cried, and shared memories all at the same time. There is absolutely no way I could have done it by myself. Not to mention that my family has made last minute trips just to because I needed them.
Some of my best friends ranging from ages of 25 to 72 have shown up to sit with me, made memory quilts for my girls, celebrated my birthday, laughed with me, listened to me, cried with me, and simply been there for me. They showed up and shut up. Their actions of love spoke loud and clear.
Our Guatemala family—I really have no words to express my love and gratitude for them. If you don’t think they are family then just ask my daughters. The bond we have with many of them is ridiculously strong. When you fight in the battle together then you always have each other’s back. They have lifted up my arms when I had no strength to lead. They have been my Aaron and Hur in the battle.
I needed help. I prayed for help. I received help.
The Lord has provided me with some of His greatest servants as He works through them.
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” Galatians 6:2
