Where do we go now? If God was causing us to come to an abrupt halt then we needed some quick answers to a ton of questions.
And God was silent….
We had sought the Lord’s direction, but we heard silence.
Our schedule allowed us to spend about 8 weeks in Guatemala. We decided that it would be best if we pulled ourselves away from our everyday distractions and listen intently for the Lord to speak. So we traveled to Guatemala to spend the 8 weeks serving with teams and seeking direction. We were honestly expecting clear direction in a matter of a couple of weeks.
Soy went building with the teams everyday. I stayed in a small apartment with a two year old, a one year old, and 7 months pregnant. Everyday! Soy returned home energetic and excited. I was exhausted. Longest summer of my life.
Every week Soy and I talked about the silence of God. We heard nothing. This only caused more frustration and confusion inside of me. We were telling God that we would go wherever, do whatever, and whenever. We had a list of countries where we wanted to serve. We only needed God to give us direction.
Week 6….Silence.
Week 7…. I was 7 months pregnant and my sciatic nerve caused me to be put on bed rest. I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t stand. I couldn’t take care of my toddlers. I could only lie in the bed. Being still is not my personality.
Week 8…God spoke. He spoke clearly. I lied in the bed listening to God and telling him ‘No way!” Guatemala was not on our list of countries to serve. I provided the Lord with some very good reasons of why I did not want Guatemala. With every reason, He confirmed His direction.
I did not tell Soy what God was speaking to my heart. Soy did not tell me what God was speaking to his heart.
Soy had the responsibility of packing up our apartment as he said good-bye to our Guatemalan friends. I continued to lie in the bed. I remember when he went to the feeding center to say good-bye to the children. He returned and entered into the bedroom. I started to ask questions about how it was to say good-bye. I rarely saw Soy cry about anything. But he couldn’t even speak as big tears filled his eyes. He left the room saying nothing.
Soy and I knew that we do not serve a God of confusion. If God spoke to Soy then He would speak the same word to me and vice versa. Soy and I knew that we did not want to be led solely by emotions. For this reason, we chose to return to Guatemala and privately pray about the exacts things God had told us.
One month later, Soy and I talked about God’s direction. God had confirmed that He was calling us to serve full-time in Guatemala.
And God Spoke….
