Shining Light Abroad Ministries

“The Lord said to Gideon, ‘You have too many men. I cannot deliver Midian into their hands, or Israel would boast against me, “My own strength has saved me.” Judges 7:2

When God called Gideon to battle, He intentionally reduced his army to only 300 men. Humanly speaking, it made no sense. But that was the point. There would be no question who deserved the glory when the victory came. It would be impossible to explain apart from God.

We see this pattern throughout Scripture. God delights in using weak, ordinary people so that His extraordinary power is unmistakable.

As I reflect on the past seven months, I realize that’s exactly what God has been doing in my own life.

I remember praying before I shared my testimony with the first few mission teams, simply asking God to help me stop shaking. I remember lying on the concrete after driving an hour and a half through Guatemala during my first week because anxiety had consumed me the entire trip. I remember crying after my first few basketball games because I felt embarrassed. I remember praying over and over before speaking during the program, stumbling over my words, and completely blanking while translating.

I remember sending my first mass email and not even knowing what BCC meant.

Most of all, I remember feeling completely unprepared and ill-equipped. During those first few months, I often wondered through tears, Am I really helping at all?

I came into this internship with very little training and only a vague understanding of what my responsibilities would be. It was also Deidra and Chino’s first time having someone serve in this role, so we were all learning together. Because of that, I was stretched in ways I never expected. I was given responsibility long before I felt ready—and that’s exactly how God chose to grow me.

I kept showing up.

I kept depending on the Lord because I knew I could never do it all—or do it well—on my own.

Countless times I prayed that God would be with me the way He was with David when he faced Goliath. Every odd was stacked against David, but the battle was never really about David’s strength. The Lord would always win.

Honestly, I still feel like David—small and weak compared to my giants—but fully convinced that my God is greater.

Today, I can do so many things I never imagined I was capable of.

I’ve stood before hundreds of people to share my testimony and proclaim the gospel. I’ve learned how to lead as a young woman, often in rooms full of experienced leaders. I’ve learned to communicate with people from different cultures, backgrounds, and personalities. I’ve learned to worship without fear because it’s never been about me—it’s only for His glory.

I’ve learned to use the gifts God has given me, but I’ve also learned not to disqualify myself because of the gifts I don’t have. My adequacy has never come from my abilities. It comes from the God who equips those He calls.

If I had stayed in my comfort zone—if I had chosen fear over obedience—I would have missed so much of what the Lord has done over these past seven months.

So often we limit ourselves by saying, “I can’t.”

But when we do that, we’re often putting God in a box.

For almost everything I’ve done these past seven months, my first thought has been, But I’m not good at that. I can’t do that.

Then I remember:

I can’t… but God can.

Deidra has often said she’s living proof that if God can do all of this through her, He can use anybody.

I’d like to add my name to that list.

The list of ordinary people serving an extraordinary God.

I’m incredibly thankful for leaders like Deidra who push, challenge, and encourage people because they know what God can do through willing hearts. I’m also deeply grateful for the Grace Ministries staff, who have continually inspired me to live each day fully surrendered to the Lord.

Because of that, I’ve had the privilege of serving in medical clinics, sponsorship, food distribution, church ministry, teaching, communications, public relations, event planning, photography, media, translation, and so many other opportunities that have shaped me into a stronger sister in Christ.

None of it was easy.

But that’s exactly why it was worth it.

“But the king said to Araunah, ‘No, but I will buy it from you for a price. I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God that cost me nothing.’”2 Samuel 24:24

David understood something that we often forget: worship that costs nothing means very little.

I don’t want to offer God what is comfortable, convenient, or easy.

Following Jesus has always been costly.

It costs our pride.

It costs our comfort.

It costs our plans.

It costs our reputation.

It costs our desire to stay safe and in control.

But every sacrifice made in obedience is worth it because Christ is worth it.

So let me leave you with this question:

What does it look like for you to pick up your cross daily and follow Jesus?

What does it look like to die to yourself, lay down your pride, forgive those who have hurt you, surrender your reputation, interrupt your own plans for the sake of the gospel, and truly love God and your neighbor with your whole life?

Maybe, like Gideon’s 300, you’ll find yourself feeling outnumbered and completely inadequate.

If so, you’re exactly where God loves to display His strength.

Because when we are weak, He is strong.

And when the victory comes, there will be no question who deserves the glory.

–Amy, Grace Intern