It was a cool fall day as we walked down the rocky driveway to my grandparents house. We had walked this driveway so many times to visit with my grandparents. I can vividly remember Soy and I watching our three girls walk down the driveway to say good-bye to my grandparents in June 2017. On this specific day we were moving to Guatemala. I cried. I cried because I knew the daily 4:00 coffee at my grandparents house would no longer take place. I knew my girls would no longer walk to my parents house for Sunday lunch. I knew there would be no more walking across the yard to go visit cousins.
Only six years later, I walked down the rocky driveway again. Without Soy. On this crisp, October day the tears streamed down my face but for much heavier reasons. My daughters and I walked down the driveway feeling incomplete. We walked down the driveway as a family of four instead of five. We walked down the driveway with our lives being turned upside down.
And yet I knew we had a choice to make. I looked at my oldest daughter and said, “Right now people are watching our lives. We did not ask for this suffering, but people are watching how we will respond. We will respond by letting them see Jesus.”
I made the decision to always strive to point people and my daughters people back to Jesus. Tragedy? Yes! Suffering? Yes! Fears of the unknown? Yes! Feeling like my world is spinning out of control? Yes! Lots of unanswered questions? Yes!
A couple of weeks ago, we had the privilege of hosting a government event at our school. They allowed us the opportunity for our students to share about how Grace Ministries is helping the community. They listened to our students sing about the goodness of God and how blessed we truly are.
However, before the government workers stepped on our property, I had a meeting with all of our teachers. My words remained the same as they did eleven months ago. People are watching our ministry. People want to know if we are different. People want to know if we truly believe what we sing. People are watching how we are responding to suffering.
My prayer has always been that every single person who visits our school, reads our social media, hears stories about our ministry, sees Jesus. Regardless of the socioeconomic status, the religious views, the titles, the education, etc….. Let Them See Jesus!
My most important audience watching me are my three daughters with fragile, tender hearts. They are watching my every move under a microscope. They are watching to see if I continue to be obedient and trust the Lord even when I am hurting. They are also watching how I respond when people criticize me. When I lose patience with people. When I become frustrated at the little nuisances of life. When my attitude stinks. When I can use my tongue to speak harsh words.
My prayer remains the same. May I point my girls back to Jesus in every situation. Let my daughters see Jesus!
“Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you.” Proverbs 4:25
